Stalin in a Bra

That's a pretty apt descrition of my mother. I'm not kidding either. She was as mean as a snake, hateful and hurtful and I am a damaged person as a result of years of exposure to her. Here is my question: At what point do I let go of the pain and hurt and let myself heal? At what point does 32 years of unconditional love from my children override the no love at all that I got from my mother? Just wondering.